Where do the samples come from? Many of the statements below are lies. Some are true. To win some sort of prize, send an e-mail to fred@kumquatpower.com with your take on how these inscrutable ramblings might be connected to the music. 1. any kind of juice a. The only thing left to drink was Sambuca. Is it acceptable to mix Sambuca with some kind of juice? Any kind of juice? Do we even have any kind of juice in this dump? b. Contains a snippet of the short-lived college band The Dirty Food playing their hit track “Information Disaster” at a house party in Lorain, Ohio, in 1997. c. In 1962, The Businessman’s Record Club released an LP explaining relentless, aggressive sales tactics. Want to shift more units, brother? d. Yoga For Idiots represented a landmark broadening of the mind when this LP was first released. Americans were discovering yoga, and many of them were idiots. 2. herbert hoover a. On September 1, 1939, America stood on the brink of war. Herbert Hoover addressed the nation, his voice sticking with emotion. He preferred not to get involved in the war. b. The French-Canadian nuns soothe Herbert, moistening his furrowed brow with gentle lullabies. 3. magic boots a. The old drum kit. It rocked multiple high school talent competitions with its hyperkinetic blasts of prog. And now, it spits beats back at you. b. A cautionary tale for children from a grim generation, the old LP fable Magic Boots recounts the tale of the cat who shattered his rancid trumpet yet stomped upon the multitudes. c. Have you ever sensed that your girlfriend might disappear on the way to the kitchen if an unauthorized witch were to suddenly loom and grimace? 4. beja a. Doesn’t everybody love obscure children’s instructional records from the 70’s? You mean to tell me you’re not into that? That’s fine, it makes them more available to me. b. Misha and Lupe from Louisville passed through town on the Russian alt-folk circuit. One thing leads to another. c. My brother-in-law has this incredible satellite TV system. It’s the ultimate monstrous data feed in the history of humanity, spewing all knowledge simultaneously. I was just feasting on it with media grabbers. 5. about my spices a. We brought the portable digital audio recorder to the grocery store. Alice became highly involved with the immense selection of spices, and stood transfixed, reading their names aloud. b. A friend who works for the undocumented video blog “Nights Out With The Foodies” was able to discreetly slip me some unused material from the cutting room floor. Here, one of the Foodies is listing her favorite everyday spices. c. Beth found voice-over work with her friends at the Spice Council for their internal holiday website soundtrack. 6. gadzooks a. “Sweatin’ Fat Horns” screamed the title of the sample CD, for retail sale at the nasty price of $79.99. Why pay for these horn samples? The ad agency wanted them for their crap corporate video. b. Eddie Versus The Cheese Monster. Remember that? 7. change the world outside a. The Armed Forces Services Film Council produced the short film Oblivion Seekers as a message to young recruits and their families in 1971. It was never officially released. b. Algerian street festival at sunset, goats blinking and stunned. c. Yoga For Idiots again. This time the guru speaks to us. 8. all here today feel it a. It’s the Pope at Yankee Stadium! b. Did you ever go to a bulldog fight and a bullfight broke out? 9. big honking radio a. When the first album began surfacing on college radio playlists, Kumquat instructed DJs to offer it free on the air. And furthermore: record yourself making this offer, send the recording, and we’ll sample you in a song on the next album. Samples were gleaned from the following programs: CIUT, University of Toronto radio, DJ Scott Stevens; Dad’s New Slacks b. We finally made it to the Kumquat Festival in Dade County, Florida. As you might imagine, samples galore were in the air. We learned that kumquat wine is not for the faint of heart. 10. we are the aliens a. Alex and I created this live recording from scratch in about twenty minutes. Uses a pre-canned beat from the E-Mu Orbit module, since retired. b. Have you seen the cartoon ray that the aliens use to suck people up into their ship? 11. centipede stings a. Randy, Stacey and Michael were discussing things on the porch in September. You can hear the night insects chiming forcefully. b. Did you ever know someone who was saving up for gender reassignment surgery and ran out of money halfway through the process? 12. cycling on the peninsula a. Arno and I were cycling on the peninsula. With the portable digital audio recorder, I could record the whirr of the spokes on Arno’s bike as he whizzed past. b. If you’ve seen The Triplets of Belleville, you know that bicycles can be used as musical instruments. Inspired, we turned an old Schwinn 3-speed upside down and sampled away. 13. only robots a. Did you ever accidentally leave the vocoder on all weekend? I know, its every housewife’s worst nightmare. b. There were no women around. No cars to be driven. Only kumquat and seismologist and a Korg MS-2000. 14. kentucky a. Lupe and Ray were driving back to Kentucky. They had an hour and a half to take a break from the road – enough time to lay down some improvised tracks, which later got nipped, tucked and looped. b. Made entirely of sounds recorded in Kentucky on the personal digital audio recorder: horse farms, whiskey distilleries, street musicians and ATM machines.